I decided I would recycle a jar! So I took an empty almond butter jar and scrubbed and scrubbed to get that really sticky label off it it. Finally it was all shiny and clean. Hooray.
I then took a small saucepan and added the ingredients of doom. Ketchup is red, like lava, and dangerous as all tomato products are when heated.
Here's the recipe I used:
3 cups tomato juice
1/4 tsp salt
3 tbsp white distilled vinegar
1 tsp honey
Mix the tomato juice, salt, and vinegar. Simmer until thickened. Add the honey and complete the cooking. Pour into a jar and refrigerate.
Now here's the part where I give you tips, because ketchup is evil. It's evil because you can't really simmer it unless you enjoy getting burned. You can't really leave the lid on, either, because you need it to reduce, and it will do that faster with the lid off.
So I started it off with medium heat. I then stirred continuously. It should be bubbling while you're stirring it.
If it's at a good temperature, you can stir it and it can bubble and it will only spit at you if you do something like slow down, get distracted, or try to take a bathroom break. So go to the bathroom before you start!
Switch hands every so often if you get tired. If you slow down too much, your sauce will spatter onto your hands, which is about like being snapped with a rubber band. This is a sign that you should hop to and pay attention.
It will seem like it is never getting thicker, and then in 20 minutes, it will start to look vaguely ketchup-like. At this point, it will be thicker, and so you will probably have to turn the heat down a little more. You'll be able to tell because your rhythm with the stirring won't be working anymore, and you'll get splattered with hot tomato justice.
Turn it down and keep stirring for another 15 minutes or so. You're done when you say so, because you're the cook, and YOU make the rules. Seize your power. Feel your anger. It is your destiny...wait, that's the Emperor.
This is the result. It's a bit thinner than regular ketchup, but it is surprisingly tasty on scrambled eggs. And hamburgers. And chicken. It is made of yum. And tomatoes.